Fabulous Four

When I arrived in my old set of clothes I was half a world away from my home And I was hunted by the wolves and I was heckled by the crows Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know Alongside my innocence I laid in bed awake Conflicted and in chains with the impetus of age But like a phantom she crept across the floor and out the window Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know From its place on the mantle my heart was taken down Scattered in a thousand little pieces on the ground And out below the streetlamp like an orphan with a halo Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know 'Cause it won't last - your worries will pass All your troubles they don't stand a chance And sometimes it takes more than a lifetime to know Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know Your confidences fall, is your faith etched in stone? Neither can comfort you from the wild unknown

So bury your burning hatred like a hatchet in the snow

Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know If you have a broken heart or a battered soul Find something to hold on to or to let go To help you through the hard nights like a flask filled with hope Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know 'Cause it won't last - your worries will pass All your troubles they don't stand a chance And it always hurts the worst when it's the ones we love the most Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know Sometimes your path is marked in the sky Sometimes you're forced to fit in between the lines Sometimes all that you can do is say no Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know I said, when I arrived in my old set of clothes I was half a world away from my home And I was hunted by the wolves and I was heckled by the crows Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know I said, Darlin' do not fear what you don't really know

This song by Brett Dennen is one of the songs that has brought comfort to me in times when I thought that I was beyond comforting. I highlighted the parts I like the most. Hope you like them too.

My dear little Samuel Lani turned 4 on Thursday. He has gotten so big! I can't even believe that he is that old or that I was pregnant with him that long ago. Time has gone so quick. Which is good... and a little sad.

His birthday party was so fun. It always is and we always get some pretty cute pictures. This year he was so excited with his toys that we didn't get a picture together but I did get one of him and Nani playing together. One thing that I like about working is that on the Wednesdays that I do work Hads gets to go over to Sams house. Alex was kind enough to volunteer to watch her for me on Wednesdays. Now my 2 kiddies will be able to get to know each other on a close level and I get to watch her play with the other 2 boys as well. Anyways, we had soup... homemade from the garden soup!! Then we had "football" cake and ice cream. We opened some awesome presents and then played!! Well, we all watched the kids play and us grown-ups chit-chatted. It was great! We didn't take very many pictures since our camera is on Hadleigh over-load but I know that Alex will be sending some my way and I will scan them and post them later when I get them.

I am truly blessed. In most of the letters/journal entries I make to/about Sammy I call him my angel. He really really is. He is my saving grace. He saved me from a life that would have left me sad and lonely and without the spirit to guide me. He saved me from staying with a bad boyfriend. He saved me from moving to California all alone. He brought me closer to my family. He gave me a new perspective on life. He lead me to new friends that really understood what I was feeling. He gave me the strength to get up when I thought the world was full of bad people. He gave me a whole new family to love and enjoy and grow close to. He saved me. I hope he knows that I tried to save him too. I placed him in the arms of a woman that I knew could be everything that he needed.

Here's the CUTEST pictures that I have from the party!! Loves!