Sunday, July 25, 2010

One year old today. I can't believe it!

One year ago, today, I was laying in a hospital bed, holding a new baby girl. I was so tired from being up for over 24 hours and from a 12 hour labor (only 30 min of hard labor though and I had an epidural.)

My baby isn't really a baby, baby anymore. She can walk. She can kinda talk. She can brush her own teeth. She can brush her own hair. She isn't really a baby anymore. It makes me kinda sad. But it makes me happy too! I am excited to see how she blossoms into a beautiful young lady and eventually a woman. I am excited to see if she turns out more like me or her dad or neither one of us! I will miss my baby girl. But I will love these new experiences we are going to experience!

Today we had family over for cake and ice cream to celebrate her real birthday. She loves ice cream and likes cake alright. She got 4 books from my family, a spin wheel thingy from Jeff and Venus and a wiggly music piggy from The Maugers! We gave her some clothes in the morning before church and a BIG GIRL car seat!! ( she now faces forward!) She went to everyone and ate little pieces from them. I think the ice cream part was her favorite.

My Dearest Miss Hadleigh Belle Kananikeona at 12 months you...
  • Walk, a lot! You walk circles around all the other 1 yr olds. You try to run but can't quite keep your balance. You love to walk. You want to walk everywhere, by yourself. We try to get you to hold our hands and you will for about 10 to 30 seconds and then you're off on your own.
  • Laugh! You love to play hide-n-go-seek. You love to play peak-a-boo and you love when we play Giants-gonna-getcha. You will laugh and laugh until you can't laugh anymore. You will give a little "Hahaha" when you're doing something you think is cute or when you are doing something naughty. You just love to giggle and squeal and clap your hands.
  • Dance to ANY music you think is good. You will dance to the hymns in Sacrament meeting. You will dance to commercials. You will dance to country, old rock and 80's music. You will dance to most blues songs and you love "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" BY Aretha Franklin til the sun comes up!
  • Like books and pretend to read. You like to read the books with "flaps" so you can "find" the object. You have your favorites too! You love your Sesame Street books the most and will point to each character and toy and explain what they are.
  • Still take a bottle to bed. You will probably do it for the rest of your life! You love that bottle.
  • Mimic what we do. You say "No-no-no" to Titan when he does something naughty. You will say "night-night" and bring me a pillow and blanket. You will walk behind me from room to room and you try to fold clothes. You definitely need your tooth brush when we are brushing our teeth! You give high-fives and kisses (sometimes) and wave.
  • Try to talk. You say "mom mom mom" and "da da da" and "tanktoo". You say "titi" and "papa" You are going to be a really good talker.
  • You know what you want, when you want it. You will bring us your books, snack bag, bottle and formula holder. You will point and pick up and try to show us whatever the thing is you want. If you don't get it.. well you have gotten pretty good at throwing fits.
  • Starting to share. Today in Relief Society (the 5 minutes we were in class) you kept trying to give baby Paige Miller some cars and her binkie! You kept picking up her binkie when she would drop it and put it in her mouth! It was so cute!
You, my love, make me so happy, even when I am overwhelmed, I am happy. I try to keep in my mind the song by Trace Atkins "You're gonna miss this, You're gonna want this back, You're gonna wish these days, hadn't gone by so fast. " I know that I will never be able to repeat a day and I want to have only good memories with you!

I love you more than you will ever know! You are the reason I try to live my life so well. I hope you had a great first birthday.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Do I show it?

Compassion: noun; sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it

Sympathy: noun; feeling of loyalty : tendency to favor or support: the act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another : the feeling or mental state brought about by such sensitivity

Empathy: noun; the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

Christlike
: noun; an ideal type of humanity

These are just a few words that I have been thinking about lately. I try to live my life the best that I can. I hold myself to a high standard and expect to be the example to those around me. These are also just a few "actions" that I try to exhibit everyday and I expect others to exhibit them as well. Is this demanding of me? I don't know. I hope not. I hope that it helps me to strive to be a better all-around person. I hope that it helps others be better as well.

P.S.
Sunday is Hadleigh Belle Belle's FIRST birthday! Prepare yourself for at least 2 posts on her and celebrations.

I have a HUGE crush!

I have a huge crush on this red head, freckle faced, muscle man named Jordon Bryce Clark.

Is it weird that I still have this HUGE crush on my husband?

Don't get me wrong, we have our fights and our "issues" but I still have a crush on this wonderful man that I married. He makes my heart flutter like a little high school girl!

I can't wait till he is done with school so we can spend more time together... you see when he finishes school he will be done working nights which means spending every night together!! And that also means a more "set" schedule so we can plan more family things and vacations.

He is amazing and I am seriously so lucky to have him as my husband and the father of my children.
Thanks my lovey. Love you most. I am so excited for our future adventures!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

ZZZZzzzzz......

That's the sound of sleeping.

This is the sound of me sleeping:
zzzz.... uncomfortable..zzzzz...
Get up and check on the dog.
Get up and check the doors are locked.
Ugh! Hadleigh is awake again.
Get up go give her a bottle.
No, let her cry herself back to sleep.
No, no give her the bottle.

Getting up. Checking. Giving Bottle.

Back to sleep.
Did you get things ready for tomorrow?
I don't want to go to work!
Is Jordon ok?
Ugh! He stole all the covers again.
Ouch.. what is that? Oh his knee
zzzz... Oh no! Did I set my alarm

Check alarm.

Back to sleep.
I wonder if Jordon is sleeping.
Hmm.. yep he is.
Is Jake home?
What is today? Tuesday? Yeah, he should be.
Did I get stuff out for dinner?
Oh well. They are grown men they can cook if they are hungry.

Check alarm one more time.

Lay down.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


That, is how I "sleep". I really need a more relaxing life!!


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Crazy days

I started working on Thursday. I cried on my way to work. On Friday, I did way better but I was only at work for 4 hours so it went fast! I did a lot of sitting and kinds being in the way. I am excited to get done with training so I can actually do something! I am NOT excited for training cuz it's FULL TIME!! I don't know what I am going to do without seeing my little Belle Belle!!! 3 weeks... I can do anything for 3 weeks right?!?!
These last couple days have been crazy! Being away from home is making my home-sick. I miss my daughter. A lot. I mean way way more than I thought I would. I miss her giggles. I miss her silly faces. I miss her running around half naked. I miss her hugs and her cuddles when she wants to read a book. I miss her playing with my hair. I miss her "helping" me with laundry. I miss her.

I miss my dog. Yes, he stays in the kitchen most of the time BUT is still miss cuddling him. I miss when he licks Hadleigh's face after she eats.

I miss my husband. I miss taking naps with him while Hadleigh and Titan sleep. I miss our cuddles on the couch in the middle of the day. I miss going to lunch whenever we feel like it. I miss being silly with him and hearing about his "day" at work.

I, however, do NOT miss all the chores that I would do. I do NOT miss tantrums or screaming. I do NOT miss puppy pee on the floor.

I guess it's a hard trade when you go back to the working world.


Monday, July 12, 2010

I guess I should explain


I guess I should explain why I am getting a job.

I am excited and nervous and a little sad and worried!! It's like having a baby all over again! Just kidding... but kinda! I am excited to start getting paid for working but I am nervous that I won't pick up on things as quickly as I used to. I am sad and worried about my little Hadleigh Baby!! I don't want to leave her, even though it's only for a few hours 5 days a week but still.. I am with her ALL day! And I am worried that I won't be able to cope with leaving her. Hadleigh will be fine.... she is so independent that she won't even notice I left!!

I got a part-time job working for Wells Fargo as a teller! I think that I will like the job a lot! And my supervisor is really nice. I hope everyone is really nice!!

Ok, so now, why I even applied...
I worry so much about finances. Way way WAY more than I should. Jordon's job is secure and he works hard and he works over-time when he can. I just want us to have our savings back up and I want us to have wiggle room each month. Also, with our new car payment I worry that things will get really tight when Jordon goes to school in the fall. No more over-time. No more extra money. You see what I mean.

Some comments have also been made to me by various people that they think that I do nothing all day. Or that they feel like they do more than I do and that they always have to clean. These comments hurt. I mean they really really hurt. I work hard all day and all night! My "job" may not be as physically taxing as theirs but mine is still hard. Taking care of a house, a puppy, everything that comes with a house (ie: laundry, sweeping, moping) a husband and a baby is hard!! I love taking care of my loves and I love spending all day with them and I am sad that I won't be able to anymore but I hope that the persons who have made these comments see how much I really do everyday. I hope that I am appreciated a little more.

Are those bad reasons? Stability and appreciation? I hope not. And I hope that those of you reading this post will be supportive of my choice. I think that a mother's main "job" should be raising the children they have BUT I also think that when tough times come you gotta do what you can to make sure that your family is still supported. Staying at home is a luxury these days and I am happy that I was able to this last year!

I love my kid and I love my puppy and I will be happy to return home permanently again!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I'm Proud to Be an American

I want to start off thanking those wonderful men and women who serve this country and protect my families freedoms and rights. Thank you to their families for the sacrifice you make. Thank you to those who have given their lives.

Because of you I feel safe.


Because of you I am free.

I am free to voice my opinion.
I am free to chose my leader.
I am free to practice my religion.
I am free to marry who I chose.
I am free to be me.

Because of you my daughter can be safe.

I want to especially thank my friends Matt Seamen, Shaun Clark and Chad Davis for their honorable and courageous service in the Marine Corps these past 4 years. You are my hero's. The things which you have shared with me and the things that you have seen and experienced are incredible. They are are incredible but they are also something that I would never want you to have had to experience. Thank you for being willing to fight for this wonderful country that I call home. The men, women and children which you have saved will be forever in your debt. The men, women and children which you protected will be forever in you debt. Thinking of your dedication brings tears to my eyes. I am forever grateful to you and to your wives and your parents and your daughters. I am most happy that all 3 of you got home safely and that your services is no longer needed. Thank you boys and welcome home!! F.R.I.E.N.D.S forever.. matt you know what I mean!

Now on to something more uplifting! We had a great Fourth weekend.
We went to a really really small town in Ut. called Grouse Creek. My whole family was there and lots of my extended family. We went to a parade, an honorary program which Hads and I were involved in, a yummy dutch oven lunch, a rodeo, visited my Grandma's original house, went to a dance, did fire works and went to church!! We then came home!! Goodness it was busy for 2 nights and 3 days!! Here are the pictures of the G.C. adventures!!

Us in the Living room.

G-ma's original house

Jordon and I looking in the red brick house

The support beam is going to crumble

Wall paper from the 40's

My love in the doorway

Hadleigh playin at the play house!

G-pa sleepin during the rodeo

Dad opening the blinds

Hadleigh helpin Pops

When we got back Sunday we went to the fireworks in Pocatello. We met up with The Mauger's, Ladd's sister and fam, and Spencer and Jackie. Hadleigh slept through the fireworks in G.C. so we were very excited to see her reaction. It was freezing cold but so worth it! Here are pictures from that adventure! These are my favorite!! Sorry so blurry, took them with Jordon's phone.





This weekend was so fun! I am happy that I got to have all this fun before I start working! I got a part-time job at Wells Fargo as a teller. I am really really going to miss my baby but she will be with family so it will be better. I haven't gotten the exact shift info but I am hoping that it will be only 4 hours a day so I can spend the majority of it with the loves of my life. More on the job to come.... I promise!
Welcome To Our Crazy Wonderful life!