Let's get Jazzy!

I am super excited to be blogging about this! Jordon and I were so blessed to go to 2 Jazz games these last couple of weeks. We went to see them play the Celtics which is Jordon's favorite team. I have been planning on that game since his birthday. It was one of his birthday presents.. just be-lated. We also went when they played the Knicks. It had been awhile since I even watched a "real" game and while we were there I realized that I didn't know anyone but Tracey McGrady on the Knicks team! Goodness it has been a long time since I actually payed attention to NBA teams!

Here are some pictures!
Us at the Jazz v Celtic game.

My shirt was a Boozer jersey.

Jordon's was a Garrnett jersey

Jazz v Knicks

Baby cakes playing with our "vintage 1980's" Jazz hats.

Tip-off

We had so much fun. I loved spending time with my husband, enjoying my favorite sport and getting away for a few hours. Mahalo to my father for getting us those awesome tickets from work and for watching the little one while we were gone! I hope that we can score some play-off tickets!!

Dearest-

I have been playing with the idea to post about something that I feel like I should talk about and finally today with some time to myself I will do it! As most of you know I have a son from a previous relationship. His name is Samuel. I haven't seen him for about 3 months but I am planning on seeing him for Easter! I am so excited. Let me start to explain... I think that adoption is one of the most amazing experiences anyone can go through. It is one of the hardest decisions to deal with as a birth mother but one of the most important ones someone can make. The pain never fully goes away but slowly over time it does lessen. Does that make sense?

My heart broke into a million pieces the day I placed him. But slowly it has mended. Sometimes I still have a slight twinge when I see little boys his age but then I just call up his parents and see him and everything is great again! I am so lucky to have an open adoption. This means that I have the opportunity to be involved in his life. His parents are amazing! I absolutely love them with all my heart. But how could I not?! I did choose them, actually I think that we were pre-destined to be together so we chose each other.

The process of deciding to place was a long one. Relatively. I only had 9 months but it took me 6 to decide! So I think that is long. It all started when I walked into LDS Family Services and met with my worker Jared. He is truly the most compassionate men I have ever met. I was depressed and felt so alone. I had my family and the few friends that didn't leave me but I still felt so so alone! Jared made things seem better. We met once a week and started off just talking about my situation and the "sperm donor". He listened. And listened. And then when I was ready, he talked. He gave me advice and then listened some more! That is what I needed. We started talking about my options and finally I said ok, let's look at profiles.

Jared told me to make a list of all the qualities I wanted in parents. I wrote about 2 pages front and back with the qualities I wanted. I have physical, spiritual, intellectual, emotional traits that I wanted for my children. Jared took the lists and narrowed down thousands of profiles to about 20. From there I glanced over them and picked 5. After reading the 5 I had 2 that I thought could be the "one". I set up a face to face with the number 2 choice. So I could make sure that number 1 was really number 1.

Because I knew I was having a boy Jared advised me to start thinking about names. I wanted to pick a name that symbolized what we were going through. I settled on the name Samuel, after the boy prophet. And Samuel the Lamanite. Two men, who in the scriptures, were chosen of the Lord.

When I met A and D in August of 2006 it was so nerve wracking! I was clammy and had butterflies and just couldn't wait! When I walked in I was greeted with hugs! With the boys there we talked about names. AND we agreed on the name Samuel! This was an answer to one of my many prayers. This brought an instant peace to me. I knew that they had the same answer to their prayers. I am lucky that they included me in the naming process. We started talking about little things and then dove right in to the deep stuff when the boys left. It was so nice to know that they had open relationships with the other birth mothers and that they really wanted one with me as well.

Fast-forward 3 months later and here was this little bundle of blue. This little boy who I had waited for. who I had prayed for. who was perfect. Tears filled the 3 days that I was in hospital. Placement was bittersweet. I was heart-broken but I knew that this was what I needed to do. The Lord was there that day. He lifted my burdens and held me when I cried. I felt him there. He was a warm blanket that let me know that I would be ok.

Since then I have had ups and downs. I can honestly say that this process was an up. I love the P's with all my heart and I feel so blessed to be an active participant in their lives. I love my son. I love the fact that my testimony has been strengthened. I love the Lord. And I love you for letting me share this very shortened story with you. This is therapeutic for me. It helps me take baby steps forward. Thank you for being part of this process.

Blessed are the children

Today in Relief Society we had a great lesson about The Fall of Adam and Eve. Sis. Peterson did a great job BUT she did get me thinking. I was thinking about how Eve has been portrayed and if that image is correct. Many think that it was her fault that Adam and Eve had to leave the Garden. Through out my life I have gone back and forth with this opinion. Some days I agreed and most others I did not. Adam had his agency to choose to partake or not. He chose to bite that fruit. Today Shawnee said something great that I totally agree with- It was part of the plan for them to partake if the fruit and to become mortal. And then also it was said after sin there can be happiness and that the Atonement works for everyone.

I often think that I am not worthy of the Atonement. I don't think that I am better than everyone but I feel as though it's selfish of me to not be perfect. This lesson today helped me realize what a divine role both Eve and I hold. It helped me to remember just how much my Father in Heaven loves me. I needed that reassurance. I don't think that this lesson could have come at a more perfect time!

Sunday school was also amazing! I love our little class. Today's lesson was on the Roles of Fathers. I loved it! I wish that we had more that an hour in that class so we could talk more about the lesson. One quote that I love is from President Benson. He says to the husbands " you should be grateful that she is the mother of your children and the queen of your home, grateful that she has chosen homemaking and motherhood-to bear, to nourish, to love, and to train your children-as the noblest calling of all."

Sunday school was exactly what I needed too. I don't feel overwhelmed after today. I feel calm and relaxed. I feel peace. The Lord knew exactly what I needed and blessed me that my heart and mind would be open today during church. I am so thankful for that.

A pot of gold........ it's called a Hot Tub!!

There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow! I found mine... do you want to see what else was in there?

Here is what I found in mine.. besides gold of course.....






We celebrated St. Patrick's Day by napping, eating Taquitos, and going up to Blackfoot to eat dinner with the Clarks! It was so fun to see them and hang out and laugh and eat! Venus always makes the best food... I think part of the goodness comes from love and the other part is the fact that I didn't have to make it! Valeigha and Ladd and the kids were fun too! I got to ask Mack all about Disney on Ice and especially hear all about Lightning McQueen! Mya gave me lots of kisses and i loved it! Jake was so fun too! Jeff even came home!! It was a great night. We did miss Spencer and his family but maybe next time.

Oh! I almost forgot! We also got into the Hot tub! Baby girl took a nap from about 2 til 5!! Jordon and I decided to hop in the tub and enjoy the peace and quiet... here are some pictures of the other love of our lives!


This is for Jordon.. I know that he would be mad if I only put pictures up of him.. Sorry for making you look at me!

I love my new swim suit! It is my first bikini and I love love love it! Soon I will get into shape so it looks better!

Luck?

I am not usually the pessimist but lately I have been feeling a little down in the dumps. This is the most unusual feeling that I have had in years!! I thought maybe it was just the "winter blues" but with the nice sunny weather out I don't think that can be! I have been trying to get out and walk with Hadleigh so we get warm and see things and she stays entertained! I think that if I continue to do it I will start feeling better and better.

Adding to this feeling, I have never been a lucky person. I don't really believe in luck but maybe that is because I have never been the recipient of "Good Luck". It seems as though the one thing that I want the LEAST is what I RECEIVE!! For example- I have never wanted to gain weight and even with my eating healthy (minus pop) I am gaining weight! Another example- I have entered about 8 sweepstakes and won nothing... I know millions of people enter these but COME ON!! Let me win something!!

Alright, Alright, I am lucky to have the gospel and my testimony. I am lucky to have a healthy daughter who is growing and developing well. I am lucky to have a family who is always there to help me out when I feel overwhelmed. I guess maybe I am more lucky than I think.

There is beauty all around... What do you see?

"Aesthetics is the study of what is beautiful.

It attempts to answer the question,
Why do we find things beautiful?"

I found this quote on the Landon's blog and loved it! What do I find beautiful? There are so many things that I find beautiful.

The Sun. The Stars. Waking up next to my Husband. All Babies. Falling Snow. Untouched Snow on Rolling Hills. Morning Smiles. Summer. Water. Diet Pepsi and Coke with Lemon.

I don't think you have enough time to read all the things I find beautiful. I have some favorites.

Here I will show you....

Her~

Him~

Him too~



All These (love, marriage, flowers, diamonds)~


This place~


This Amazing Man~



I ended with the most beautiful person I can think of. His sacrifice. His love. His life. His promise to me. His essence. He is the definition of beauty.

Creative? Trying to be!

Last week my in-laws and I got together and did some crafts! Well we did one craft that had many steps to it... does that count as "crafts". I had to leave early and just barely finished them today. I had nothing else to do tonight and Hadleigh was being good and jumping in the jumper so I decided to hurry and get it done. I changed some things around so mine look a little different than anyone elses BUT I love them! I saw the idea on "How does she" after I blog hopped onto Creative Crate's site. Then my cousin in-law did some and then my sis Valeigha wanted to do them so we did our own versions. I think that I am going to make one for Birthday's, The 4th of July, School Starting and Winter. That way I have one for every month/holiday. I want to do some different craft things with 4X4's. I will hopefully be able to find them again and get the measurements! Here are the pictures of our craft Monday!
St. Patrick's Day *Lucky Charms

Easter/ Spring *Spring Time

Summer *Busy Bees

Halloween *The Boo Crew

Thanksgiving *Family

Christmas *Santa's Elves

Valentines Day *Sweethearts

Every Day *Laugh Often

Rapunzel, Rapunzel....

Lately I have been feeling somewhat like this beautiful Princess, locked away from the world. With the not so fun weather and my little girl being sick there isn't a whole lot to do so we stay inside ALL DAY!! Don't get me wrong, I like to be inside, especially if the weather is yucky, BUT I also like to get out and take Hadleigh for walks. We used to walk around the mall and window shop. Hadleigh and I would sometimes walk around busy Wal Mart just so that we had a change of scenery. After taking care of Hadleigh, Jordon, laundry, household chores, meals and " house maintenance" I don't have much "Heather only" time. I feel lazy and fat and need to get out in warm weather! If only my hair was long enough to use as a rope to get out a little more.

This week, I did have the chance to get up to Blackfoot to hang out with my in-laws, so that was super nice! We did crafts and ate yummy pizza and talked. I love when I get to go do things like that! However back in Poky, with no friends with kids Hadleigh's age and only one car there is a limited amount of things that we can do. We are saving up money to buy a new car and we only have $2,000 dollars to go! We can save that up in about 4 months if we are really really good. I am hoping to sign Hadleigh up for a "Mommy and Me" swim classes as the summer gets closer so that will get us out more and give us both more exercise! Plus then Hadleigh will love the water just as much as I do!

Speaking of exercise, my goal for this month is to do 100 crunches a day. So far I have NOT done any!! I am behind... and I hope that I can catch up. Next month my goal is to do 150 crunches a day and then in May my goal is going to be 200. I figure that at this rate I will FINALLY be back to how I was in high school! I have lost all the baby weight PLUS some! I just need to trim and firm up.

Well I am sure that I have put you all to sleep with my ramblings about my life. I know that you are all here to read about cute Hadleigh Belle! UPDATE: Nani aka Hadleigh has started to scale! When I started writing this post she grabbed my pants and pulled herself up! She has done that too in her crib, as well as on the couch! Can you believe that she is already trying to walk! That crazy girl just wants to be grown up!


I love this girl. Even when she screams so loud that I get a headache! Hahaha.. the life of a mother. It is full of adventures!